


Apologies from the Heart

by LighthouseinaGardenofStars



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Logan feels emotions!, Mentions of ducking out, Remus being Remus, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Wine, Yelling, could be read as pre relationship, if you want too, platonic, remus level violence and innuendo, some chapters could be read as romantic, some gore and violent descriptions in 3rd chapter, some sexual innuendos in 3rd chapter, there's a lot of emotions, we are working through our issues in this chillis tonight, which we love for them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27756829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LighthouseinaGardenofStars/pseuds/LighthouseinaGardenofStars
Summary: 5 times Patton gave one of the sides a hug, and 1 time they gave him one.A look at Patton's changing relationships with the other sides post-POF, examining how things between them have changed and considering where they can go in the future. Featuring a ton of angst, some comfort and a lot of hugging!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 29
Kudos: 49





	1. Two Steaming Mugs

Logan rolled his shoulders out, faintly registering the dull ache present in his back. Blinking blearily, he tried to focus on the time that flashed up at him.

_1:47_ am.

Later then he hoped. He rubbed his eyes, before resettling his glasses. It was fine. He just needed to finish this last page and he could sleep. Before he could begin typing however, there was a soft knock on his door.

Barely holding back the urge to groan, he instead elected to simply straighten his tie, and smooth his hands over his shirt, before calling out, ‘Come in.’

The door eased open to reveal a softly smiling Patton, looking extremely soft with his hoodie on over his cat onesie. In his hands he held two mugs of unknown contents, though a hot beverage was likely given the plume of steam currently fogging up his friend’s glasses. Wordlessly, he lifted one of the mugs as an offering.

‘Salutations Patton. Come in, just let me-,” Logan hurriedly stood, moving quickly to grab the stacks of paper and books currently occupying the seat next to his. And his desk. And the floor. And, somehow, the window. He didn’t remember how they got there, but then again, he didn’t remember much of the last six hours. Patton just waited patiently, quietly thanking him and placing the mugs on the desk, before curling into the seat Logan had cleared. For his own part, Logan resumed his position in front of the computer. For a few minutes, the only sounds were the rhythmic typing of keys and the occasional sip from Patton.

Logan started when a warm palm rested comfortably on his thigh, gently stroking just above his knee. Breaking from his dazed reverie, he cast an inquisitive look at Patton.

‘Your drink will get cold,’ he shrugged, never ceasing the soothing movement of his thumb. It was incredibly distracting, enough so that it took a few moments longer then could be considered strictly polite before Logan could muster a reply.

‘Thank you, Patton,” he answered finally, reaching out to grab the mug in front of him. The warmth of it against his palms was nothing like the heat currently curled around his leg. Trying to regain composure, he took a sip of his coffee, before nearly spitting it out again. Patton just gave him another crooked smile in response to his spluttering.

“I thought that it was a little bit late for coffee,” he explained, his tone not the least bit apologetic as he half-laughed.

Logan didn’t deign to give him an answer (and if he also managed to just resist sticking out his tongue, well, that was no-one’s business but his own). He instead elected to take another sip of his newly-discovered hot chocolate. It was delicious, once he got over the initial shock of sweet and rich that replaced his bracing for bitter beans. Patton allowed him a couple more sips before he spoke again.

“Do you think it might be time for bed?” Patton’s words were careful, measured. He was like that a lot more these days. Subdued. Unsure. Still happy, still bright, still smiley, just… dimmed somewhat. He did a good job hiding it, but then Logan had seen him the days after the Incident, as he’d taken to calling it in his head.

Even so Logan felt his hackles instantly raise.

“I’m fine,” he barely held himself back from snapping, “I just need to finish this off.”

Patton didn’t react to his poorly contained rage, except for a slight tightening around his eyes. Imperceptible, except that Logan was looking for it. The smile remained in place, porcelain and perfect.

“Honey,” he reprimanded softly, “you better than anyone know the importance of a good night’s rest.”

As the embodiment of logic, he knew, he _knew_ , that this made sense. He himself had preached the importance of a good night’s sleep, free from distractions and maintaining such habits was important for overall health and wellbeing. But something about this sentence just made him snap.

“Christ, Patton, you think I don’t know that?” he snapped. Standing up abruptly, he saw Patton snatch his hand back, a look of hurt briefly flashing across his features before his face smoothed over again.

“I’m not saying you don’t, Lo, I’m just worried about you. You’ve been really pushing yourself recently,” Patton had stood as well, nervously pulling the hoodie tighter around himself.

“Well I don’t really know why it’s any concern of yours,” he said coldly. Part of him felt locked up, unable to stop watching the horror show, as the callous words dripped like poison, but most of him was caught in a roaring wave.

Patton squared his shoulders a little. He was often underestimated by the other sides, it was true, but he was never one to back down from anything. Maybe if they hadn’t sold him so short, they would have noticed more when he messed everything up.

_Unfair_. The voice whispered. He ignored it.

“I’m concerned because you are my friend and I care about you. I want you to be happy and –“

**“Liar.”**

Patton reared back like he had been slapped. And there finally, _finally_ , the cracks appeared.

“What do you mean?” he asked, a slight tremor entering his voice.

Logan couldn’t have stopped the vitriolic tirade emerging from his tired brain, anymore then he could have pushed down the fluttery feeling he’d gotten when Patton had oh-so-casually touched him earlier.

Emotionless, huh? Well if it was emotion they wanted.

“You don’t care about me. You don’t want me to be happy. You just want me to say what you want to hear, with no regard for anything I say that you may disagree with!” And this was wrong, so wrong, but he couldn’t stop the well of hurt from raging up inside him, stripped bare by countless sleepless nights, with only his work to comfort him. Patton looked so stricken that he started to pace just to stop seeing his face.

“None of you care about me. I’m not funny or crude or dramatic enough to fit in. I’m exposition, a boring, easy to tune out narrator at best,” a laugh escaped him then, though it sounded more like a sob, “even my best friend doesn’t want to listen to me.”

_Skip, skip, skip, SKIP, SKIP, SKIPPED, HE’D BEEN SKIPPED AND-_

All at once, Patton had crowded into his vision again, catching his arms and stopping him from moving. And his face- god his face it was full of such anguish. Logan almost couldn’t bear to look at him, but his eyes met the tear-reddened ones of his friend. Patton seemed to struggle for a moment to gain control before he abruptly dove forward, as if to hug him, before aborting the movement. Taking a shuddery breath, he took a step back and simply opened his arms instead.

“Logan,” he entreated.

For a moment, a single, awful moment, Logan considered refusing him, stepping back and turning away. But it was only for a moment.

He crossed the distance swiftly, desperately and then he was clinging to Patton, crying, but trying to muffle it as he buried his face in the soft hoodie. Patton’s arms immediately came up to envelop him and together they sank to the floor. Patton was rubbing his back and rocking them gently, his voice a low croon as Logan continued to cry, a muddled mix of overtiredness and repressed frustration, upset and god knows what else. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, honey,” Patton repeated again and again. Logan just held him tighter.

Later there would be time to talk about it, to break down the self-loathing and awful assumptions, the bitterness and the rage. Later there would be more hugs, and whispers of apology, curled up together so Logan could finally sleep, finally know a sense of peace after the tumultuous nights of the past couple of weeks.

But for now it was just Patton desperately hugging Logan as he cried, next to two half-drunk mugs of hot chocolate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I intend to do a chapter for all the sides eventually, plus a finale of sorts as well. This is my first fic so any comments or kudos are highly appreciated! I would love any and all feedback


	2. Two Empty Chairs

It was the end of what had shaped up to be an exceptionally long week. Usually come Sunday evening, Janus liked to treat himself to some much-needed self-care (living only with Remus would do that to a person). It was his time to relax and unwind at the end of the week, and he personally loved getting the chance to switch off. Whilst usually he would commence somewhere around the mid-afternoon, his plans had been shifted slightly to accommodate for family dinner.

It was a concept he was still getting used too.

When Patton had brought it up with him, jovial, if a little stilted, his instinct had been to refuse. But then, why should he? He was an accepted side of Thomas now, as important as any other side. Why shouldn’t he take his dinner with them?

The first time he had joined the other sides, it had been an exceptionally easy experience. Carefree, no drama.

Yeah, right.

When Janus had entered the dining room, a little early to offer to help Patton set the table, Roman had drained of all colour, and opened his mouth as if to snark at him, only to be cut off. Patton had sweetly thanked Janus for coming, and then asked him to help serve the pasta he had made. Roman had glanced between the two of them, Janus’ uncomfortable expression at odds with Patton’s cool determination. Without a word, he turned heel and left the room.

Virgil hadn’t bothered to show up.

The pair had waited for a little while longer, before Patton had shrugged, and started to serve Janus his food. The pair had made deliberately careful small talk, and yet even with the tightness present around Patton’s eyes, it had been a distinctly pleasant experience.

So, he had come back.

After a couple of days, Logan had joined them. A few days after that Patton asked if Janus had wanted to invite Remus. So he did, and occasionally the Creative side did pop in to eat with them. But the two empty places serve as a damning reminder of what had so far been lost to get here.

Which led him to hear. Another dinner finished, Remus off to adventure in the imagination, Logan to work on the finishing touches for the week’s planner. Janus was thankful at least that the side no longer resembled a zombie and appeared to be getting better sleep. He watched as Patton offered Logan a hug goodnight, turning away as Logan murmured something to his friend. Once Logan had left, Patton offered one of his megawatt smiles to Janus, who had stopped feeling like he was being speared but still felt a little winded.

“I can clean up the rest of the dishes, sweetie. I know you have plans for after dinner,” Patton said, moving to take the washcloth from Janus. 

“Are you sure?” Janus asked. On the one hand, he felt slightly guilty for leaving all the mess with Patton, but on the other he did desperately want to go.

Patton nodded, still smiling brightly, “Of course! It won’t be any trouble at all. Enjoy your relaxation, sweetie.”

“Well that absolutely wouldn’t be appreciated at all, definitely no thank you,” Janus said, knowing that the moral side wouldn’t struggle to understand the barely veiled meaning. Patton laughed, before turning back to the dishes, leaving Janus to make his way back to his room.

Once there he began to lay out all the necessities: face mask, candles, a soft bathrobe, lovely smelling bath salts. All the essentials. He started by filling the bath with warm water, before spreading a generous amount of salt throughout. Swirling it around, a lovely pinkish colour began to emerge. Resolving to leave it a little longer, he got undressed, taking his time to carefully fold everything, as well as arrange his towel and robe within easy reach. All that was left was the finishing touch of his carefully curated Relaxation playlist.

Finally, everything was ready, and as he sank beneath the faintly lavender scented water, he let a content sigh slip out.

Lying there, relaxed and content, he was unaware of how much time had passed. Eventually though, the water ran cold, and so he carefully stepped out, drying off and putting on his onesie, followed by his robe. The winter’s cold always had affected him a little more than the others. Suitably attired, he stopped and considered. Sometimes he liked to compliment a relaxing evening such as this with a glass of wine… although, all things considered, a bottle may be more appropriate after this mess of a week. Mind made up, he made his way through the silent hallways, back to the kitchen to retrieve his prize.

Or he meant too. What he came across made him pull up short, puzzled in the doorway. Patton was sitting at the dining table, hand in his hand as his eyes glazed unfocused across the table. His usually cheery demeanour was gone, replaced instead with a startling blankness. Janus watched him for a couple of seconds, the only thing differentiating him from a statue carved with grief the rise and fall of his chest. 

He was tempted to walk away, get one of the others and let them deal with this. Patton hardly liked him for God’s sake; surely an interruption now would be unwelcome. But even as that traitorous thought crept through his head, a stronger rebuttal reared his head. In a lot of ways, Patton’s current state had a lot to do with him. Plus, he wasn’t sure that anyone else would currently be equipped or willing to help right now. Squaring his shoulders (Thomas wasn’t raised a quitter, after all) he knocked gently on the door.

Patton’s eyes snapped to his, and in an instant a smile filled his expression.

“Hey kiddo! Did you need something?” Patton asked cheerily, leaping to his feet.

Janus took stock for a moment. He knew that if he asked how Patton was right now, the lies would be delicious in the air, his habit of repression making an ugly reappearance. Maybe it wasn’t the time for an emotional heart to heart, though it would eventually. Maybe right now, the moral side would prefer a distraction.

“Just getting some wine actually, but I’m glad to catch you,” he said, trying for casual. 

“Oh? You were looking for me?” 

The slight emphasis on the final word made Janus’ heart ache. Was it really so incomprehensible to the moral side that he longed for his company, drawn to his warmth like a sailor gasping for air beneath the frigid waves? 

“Definitely not. I totally wasn’t going to see if you wanted to join me in sharing some wine, and hanging out? I definitely wouldn’t enjoy your company,” Janus said, fighting the urge to look away. He was glad he didn’t; he would have missed the way Patton’s eyes sparked with genuine delight.

“I would love too,” the spark dimmed for a second, and Janus was surprised by the ferocity of his desire to bring it back, “but only if you’re sure you want me there.”

Janus took a measured breath (honestly fuck the other light sides- how dare they make him feel so unwanted) before nodding with a smile. “I’d love it if you joined me,” he said, and no trace of a lie touched his lips.

So here they were, a bottle and half in, face masks sloppily applied, the timer abandoned in favour of painting each other’s nails. Patton was sugar sweet, and giggly, and Janus wanted nothing more than to lean into it, soaking it in while he was allowed too. He was like a shining star, the light of which fell upon a single flower only once every full moon, and Janus wished to lap it up from the sky.

He may have also been quite drunk.

Maybe that’s what made him lean into the moral side, not caring for once about boundaries or maintaining personal space. But Patton reacted like he had been scalded, nearly tumbling over in his haste to put more distance between them.

All at once, Janus felt like he had swallowed a lemon. Or a small boulder, perhaps. It’s not like he hadn’t noticed. The moral side was overly affectionate, showing his love through touchy feely gestures. Janus supposed he was foolish to think that this friendship was genuine when it was much more likely born from some misplaced sense of duty. Feeling distinctly off-kilter (and maybe a little embarrassingly close to tears) he went to coolly apologise but was cut-off by Patton’s panicked response. 

“I’m sorry Janus, I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, looking startling stricken.

Confusion was putting it lightly. “What did you do?” he asked, feeling like he was missing something.

“I shouldn’t have tried to hug you like that. I know you don’t want too; I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Janus felt a little like someone had set him up for a pinata, only to leave him stranded with no candy-filled object in sight; distinctly disoriented.

“But I do want too?” he said, the truth slipping out a second before the rest of his brain caught up to scream at him.

Now Patton looked confused.

“But why would you?” he asked, “You should hate me.”

Janus was horrified to see his friend's eyes slowly filling with tears, but he felt powerless to stop it, as Patton continued.

“I’ve been nothing but horrible to you, shutting you out of discussions and forcing you out. I’ve been awful to you for years! You were just trying to help Thomas but I was so caught up in some stupid moral ideologies that I shut you out completely, and I’m- I’m so sorry Janus, I know I haven’t said it yet but gosh I’m so sorry, please-,”

Janus couldn’t bear it any longer, and grabbed his friend’s shoulders, the sudden movement enough to finally silence the self-loathing outburst. He waited until Patton met his eyes, even as his heart sank to see his friend’s red-rimmed ones. 

“Patton,” he murmured, “it’s okay. I forgive you.”

Patton broke properly then, opening his arms, and Janus was all too happy to dive into his embrace, wrapping his arms around his middle and deeply breathing in his scent.

He smelled like a childhood long lost, like a golden summer day, like cookies and sweet things, and something else he wasn’t quite ready to name. They stayed wrapped in each other for a while longer, before Janus finally broke away, reaching for the foamy substance.

“I’ll need to re-do your face mask,” he joked, revelling in the way Patton laughed, even if his voice cracked a little. 

And if he sat a little closer then was strictly polite, reaching forward to re-apply the soothing mask, well, Patton wasn’t going to complain. They had many years to catch up on after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am still figuring out this AO3 thing so if there's any formatting or tagging issues please feel free to let me know! Any comments or kudos would be greatly appreciated :)


	3. Two Lunch Plates

Remus had never felt more alive, or more wanted in his entire lonely existence. It was making him a little crazy, like hunt your kid in a frozen maze crazy, like pull out his own teeth to make a special kind of candy necklace crazy, like dress up in glorified underwear to fight people with guns kind of crazy. On the one hand, the tension in the air was an absolute feast, as the other sides and Thomas struggled in this new dynamic, each seeking to find where exactly they fit in this topsy turvy world where Janus, where Remus were actually… accepted? It was entirely foreign concept, littered with inconsistencies and resistance, especially from his darling brother and Virgil, but Logan had at least regarded him with a level of cool attachment, and Patton. Well. Patton-

Anyway, that was why Remus was here. Doing experiments was one of his favourite methods of distraction. He had even managed to get the imagination to himself today. Roman and Virgil seemed to be consistently holed up in each other’s rooms, commiserating this, or fornicating that (they could deny it all they want but come on. Even moping can’t leave you holed up for literal days. He would be almost impressed by his brother’s stamina, but it had taken him too long to get there) and just generally being ludicrous- you might say this is Ludacris but Taio CruZ TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL- whoops. Not quite the ear worm he’d been intending to give Thomas today, but at least it was a little more upbeat than the constant emo music Virgil had apparently been recommending Roman recently. What was worse he listened to the advice. All the more reason to suspect, in Remus’ opinion. 

But anyway, with those two love birds off being fuck birds or whatever they denied they were doing, and Logan and Janus using the free time to sort out the week’s schedule (Janus had started being invited to such planning sessions after it became somewhat abundantly clear that Logan, while incredibly gifted at preaching healthy work ethics, was loathe to do them himself. Remus had other suspicions about what exactly Logan was proving to be so gifted in but had graciously accepted Janus’ limit of 5 innuendos a day in that regard). Patton had been nowhere to be found, and so finally, the imagination.

He had started off by trying his best to create a series of varying different natural disasters (Thomas had gone outside earlier that day, and so naturally Remus started by imagining what would happen if they had been struck by lightning… it devolved.) But seeing stones fly and water shake, and the air drip had quickly lost its fun, so Remus had abandoned that in favour of his study of the volcano.

Objectively, a volcano was fucking sick. Earth and fire combining to create an awesome cavern, capable of spewing up magma at incredible temperatures, causing devastation even underwater? Sign Remus the fuck up.

Too much red in the lava though. He wanted to make it more green, and well, it was hardly his fault when the acid volcano started erupting was it? He watched with morbid fascination as a slow-moving patch inched closer towards him, suddenly wanting nothing more the get on his knees and drink, aching to touch the forbidden soup life had so far denied him. He had barely gotten down to more than a hunch before the wind was absolutely knocked out of him.

He had been about to reach out and touch the mesmerising green, but had been sent flying through the air, landing a lot further away than originally intended because in his surprise, he had just sort of… forgot? About gravity. 

Once science kicked back in (stupid Logan) he was aware of the ground underneath him, but also of a warm weight pressing into him. As soon as his body took stock of that objectively awesome situation, the pressure instantly alleviated, and Remus opened his eyes to see a very worried pair of bespectacled eyes staring back at him. Huh. Remus had never noticed the dark circles under Patton’s eyes before. What did the moral side have to keep him awake? Had he murdered another house plant? Did he accidentally switch Remus and Roman when they were young and never knew which twin was which? Was he harbouring a secret porn addiction? What if he-

“Remus?”

He blinked again. Whoopsie daisy. 

“Patton?”

Patton looked a little lost, but quickly recovered to beam at Remus. “I was just saying sorry kiddo! I didn’t mean to knock you over quite that far! You just had me a little worried going for that green, um, slime thing? What even was that, actually?”

Remus shrugged nonchalantly, noticing how the father figure had given him an appropriate amount of space (Remus would have preferred an inappropriate amount of personal space but whatever), answering simply “acid lava”.

Patton, to Remus’ surprise, did not act horrified, but instead snorted, before tiredly going “that explains the sizzling.”

“Why are you here anyway, daddy-o face? How’d you know where to find me?” Remus asked after a couple of seconds.

Patton’s smile was a little crooked, a little weary around the edges, “I just wanted to see if you wanted some lunch. Roman never uses the imagination anymore, it’s too common a space, so I figured it must be you in here.”

“Well, I’d love lunch. What is it? Sheep brain sandwich? Emu eye soup? Deep fried giant squid?” Remus asked, bouncing to his feet and offering Patton his hand to get up. He knew that if he kept pushing the limit, the facade would have to crack eventually.

But Patton just smiled, blowing his fringe out of his face a little. 

“Close enough with the last one. Fish and chips if that’s alrIGHT!” Patton yelped on the last bit as, after taking his hand, Remus pulled him up and into his arms. It was almost like a romantic embrace, and Remus wiggled his eyes at Patton, trying to rile him up a little.

He was more than surprised when Patton just laughed, reaching up to boop his nose. “Can’t promise the catch of the day though. I’ve got that right here.” His words were filled with fondness, even as he stepped back and started walking back in the direction of the common area.

Remus knew the pun was horrendous, but he was too busy being about as gobsmacked as when he had accidentally hit himself in the jaw with his mace to particularly care.

A compliment was well outside of his area of expertise.

And from Patton??

Next the sky would turn purple and start raining fish and the ground would open up like a ventriloquist dummy’s gaping maw and- 

He hurried to catch up. They walked in silence for a bit (or what counted as silence with Remus spouting off every random thought that came into his head. He did have the sense to filter some of the more disturbing ones. See, Janus).

Lunch was nice too. Remus so rarely got to be just alone with Patton, and while he still winced occasionally, Remus could tell the genuine effort he was making to listen to Remus, even engaging in him a debate about whether the moral depravity of Frollo in Hunchback of Notre Dame would have been solved by him just getting a good pegging, which had both of them loudly laughing by the end of it.

As they cleaned up (Patton attempting to wash dishes whilst Remus threw them around Greek style), Remus felt comfortable, in a way he hadn’t around another side that wasn’t Janus for a very long time.

So, when Patton went to say goodbye, and went to hug him before abruptly and painfully pulling himself back, Remus spoke honestly.

“You can, you know.”

Patton looked a little worried, biting his lip, “What do you mean?”

“You went to hug me? You can. Honestly, I’d take another flying crash tackle if it meant you’d put your arms around me again.”

But the easy camaraderie of the afternoon had diminished. Patton looked down.

A stone, jagged and harsh sunk into Remus’ stomach, tearing the inner lining and letting his guts spill out, over onto the kitchen floor, his blood slowly pooling around him-

“Or not.”

Patton looked up, wild-eyed and anxious and hearing that coldness in Remus’ voice, blurting out “I don’t deserve it!”, before promptly smacking himself in the face with his attempt to stop the words spilling out.

“You don’t deserve it? Little old for Catholic guilt, hey fun-loving father figure figment?” Remus said, automatically making a dirty gesture for the first f in that fun phrase, even as his mind raced.

Patton didn’t rise to the bait, instead removing his hands to look at Remus with his big earnest eyes.

Fuck.

“I treated you horribly Remus. I ignored you and refused to listen to you and excluded you for years. Why should I deserve to get to hug you?”

What?

Remus needed a giant fucking crab right now cause a little pinch was not gonna convince him he wasn’t dreaming- a nice slice right into the torso, cutting him up like a kebab, skewering him the way the words did, right into his bones, his mind racing like a plane to the ground-

“Because I want you too?”

Patton, who had looked away a little in his confession, snapped his gaze back to Remus. His eyes were a little red, but he sounded bitterly confused when he asked, “why would you want that?”

Remus could see the turmoil of rage, guilt and regret that had threatened to spill like oil from Patton’s every pore bubbling to the surface, but he had never wanted to feast on an acrid mix of emotions less in his life. He wanted to make Patton...happy.

“Because you’re my friend. You do experiments with me, you talk to me about stupid shit even when you’re uncomfortable, you saved me from acid lava, and you made me a sandwich and wanted to spend time with just me. I was your first option, the first person you thought about sharing lunch with and you’ve been trying really hard to include me, even if it goes against years of what you’ve thought and practiced, which is pretty fucking brave if you ask me. You-you’re my friend, okay? Can we leave it at that?” Remus spewed out, the words falling quicker and quicker from his lips like someone had slashed their hand through an hourglass and the precious sand was running out, but each word left him light and bright, and he was gonna float away and never come back and-

“Plus, dad bodies are super in right now.”

Patton, who had been looking more than a little shocked by this tirade, burst into laughter, a couple of tears escaping as his shoulders shook.

“It’s true,” Remus continued helplessly, “you’re smoking hot, dream daddy, and my reputation can only improve with you in my close circle.”

Patton continued to laugh, eventually managing to get himself under control enough to take another step closer.

The instant relief at the awkward bridge being scaled was like a hit of heroin.

“Well, I guess with your only good intentions, I couldn’t possibly not hug you after that,” Patton smiled, still red eyed but welcomingly opening his arms and Remus had no choice but to throw himself at him, tightly hugging around his waist, and feeling a sense of calm euphoria drift over him as Patton eagerly hugged back. They rocked a little for a moment.

“I’m so sorry, Remus,” he whispered, sighing into Remus’ shoulder (he shouldn’t do that too much, he’d get a spike in his eye and be blind like Aurora’s prince and wander forlorn forever entangled in thorns and-

“I can think of a way for you to make it up to me, daddy-o,” Remus leered cheerily, wiggling his hips just slightly and letting his hands drift downwards.

Patton laughed, gently grabbing his hands and resting them back on his hips, before tightening back into what was the best hug Remus had thought he’d ever received. 

Even so, as they stood for a little while, tightly curled around each other, new understandings forged between them, Remus felt like for now, it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the delay in updating- I have been recovering from major surgery and have had not the focus, physical strength or motivation to write. I'm hoping to get back to semi regular updates soon! Hope everyone had a nice holiday period and a happy new year, and if you enjoyed please feel free to comment or kudos, every interaction means the actual world to me!


	4. Two Cupcake Wrappers

Virgil couldn’t sleep. This was hardly a new or notable phenomenon. Hell, being able to peacefully resign himself to being unconscious, with no qualm or problem would probably be more noteworthy at this point. Inspiring even. Give his brain a fucking medal. Except he couldn’t do that cause it was 3 am and here he was, once again still not fucking asleep.

You’d think he’d be used to it by now. Feeling your body slowing down as the sun slowly dipped beneath the horizon, that blurry, edgy haziness drifting into to try and lull your mind to sleep. Countless presentations on circadian rhythms and the benefits of sleep rattled around his brain (sounding like Logan which was honestly no surprise. After the Yerkes-Dodson incident he’d never been able to look at a graph the same again). But no. Night after night he was almost surprised by his body’s utter resistance to sleep. 

Tiredness became his waking companion, his unwanted shadow that trailed him from one sleepless night to the next. Sure he grabbed a couple of hours before (or after) the dawn sometimes, but it wasn’t enough, didn’t feel like it would ever be enough and all because his stupid brain wouldn’t just shut the fuck up long enough from him to sleep.

He was running on empty and none of his usual solutions were working. Listening to podcasts or rain didn’t work; reminded him too much of Logan. He was fine, if a little terse with Logan, but Logan led to other thoughts about-

Fuck.

Okay.

He couldn’t try complete darkness or lack of sound, too used to things lurking in the shadows thanks to a certain side. Touching the temperature in any way just reminded him of countless bickerings he had had with another side, pointlessly he might add because it was hard to argue with a reptile about temperature.

And using his gifts of tea or lavender or anything calming was just unacceptable. He remembered, just briefly the absolute joy and gratitude he had felt in receiving the simple package, unobtrusive and uncalled too, but with a small note to explain what each item would help do. So kind and helpful, and it had, it really had helped him sleep better for months now.

Too bad he’d poured the bottle of lavender oil down the drain a while ago now.

Fuck.

Guess he wasn’t allowed even a single night.

With an aggravated sigh, he kicked the sheets away, tangling his legs in the process which only served to annoy him more. With a grunt he tore the sheet away, narrowly avoiding ripping them. Virgil felt so frustrated he could have screamed, but he instead chose to simply release his anger healthily, through a well aimed kick to his pillow. Because he was an adult, who was gonna go and get some coffee and colour in a fucking adult colouring book to calm down.

Fucking PATTON.

Tucking the book under his arm, and firmly telling himself that using it was not admitting defeat, he made his way on silent feet to the kitchen. But life was never easy or kind, and avoidance had a time limit, especially if you were both metaphysical representations of various figments of personality rattling around in the same head. Maybe if he’d had more than 15 hours of sleep in the last four days his reflexes would have been better, maybe if he wasn’t so focused on his internal mor- ethical, ETHICAL battle he would have seen him, maybe, maybe, maybe. But nonetheless, for whatever reason the universe had decided to punish him, and so his nightly crusade had found him face to face with Patton for the first time in weeks.

Patton looked shocked, which was oddly gratifying. Let him be just as on the wrong foot in this situation. Was nothing compared to his own shock and betrayal after finding out just exactly what devil he had made his deals with.

Virgil maintained eye contact for a moment more, before resolutely looking away, pointedly ignoring Patton as he went for the kettle. He spied a tray of cupcakes cooling on the rack. Why Patton felt the need to make a midnight snack was a question that Virgil firmly told himself not to ask. Instead he leaned against the counter, crossing his arm and settling his expression into his most evil, darkest expression. 

He’d perfected it after all. He was meant to be a dark side. 

Patton didn’t shrink away like he’d expected, however. Figured. Couldn’t trust him to do anything right.

They maintained eye contact for a moment longer, before Patton broke, sighing and running his hands over his face. He grabbed one of his creations, before gesturing to the rest.

“You can help yourself, if you want,” he said, sounding tired.

Virgil felt a little thrown for a second, before the anger kicked in. Was he seriously going to try and play off the last few weeks?

“What’s the special ingredient in this batch? Betrayal or hypocrisy?”

Patton didn’t so much flinch as he did recoil, sitting down heavily. The air oozed around them, viscous and ready to ignite.

“So you can’t sleep either,” Patton tried, taking a bite from his cupcake. Virgil just raised his eyebrows.  
“Yeah, tends to happen during periods where Thomas has increased anxiety. You wouldn’t happen to know why that is, would you?” Virgil spat.

“Have you told Roman? Asked for his help?” Patton asked, his fist clenching a little tighter around his cupcake. Virgil just laughed.

“Oh what? And add even more stuff for him to deal with? You don’t think you’ve given him enough of a complex, done enough damage, what you’re trying to get me to finish the job by unloading on him? Fat fucking chance,” Virgil mocked angrily pushing away from the counter to throw himself into the chair opposite Patton, darling him to do something about it and kind of hoping he would.

“He’d want to know.”

“You do not get to decide what Roman does and doesn’t want anymore,” Virgil snapped, his voice like iron. He was suddenly standing again, his nails digging into the table and his voice echoed just a little. Distantly he considered the others sleeping and thought about changing his volume, calming down but most of him was hellbent on trying to cause nearly as much hurt as he currently felt.

“I didn’t want too anyway!” Patton snapped back, his voice cracking a little as his fingers starte to nervously tear his wrapper to shreds.

Virgil gave another mocking sneer, “Doesn’t matter does it? You always get what you want, you always push for what’s right for Thomas but you don’t even know what that is! You have failed us again and again. You failed Logan, and Roman and I and yeah that fucking stings, but what’s worse? You failed Thomas! You hurt him and then you worsened the damage. You let Janus and Remus fucking in, threw open the doors to the very kingdom you were meant to protect! You’re supposed to be morality for fucks sake, so why do you get everything wrong?”

Deafening, still, silence followed this impassioned exclamation. Patton had his head bowed and his arms wrapped around himself like he was trying to shield himself from blows. Finally, he slowly raised his head.

“I know I messed up-”

“Messed up? Messed up? No Patton; you fucked up. You fucked up massively and I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to forgive you-”

“I know!” Patton interrupted, pushing himself to his feet, a wild determination setting into his features.

“I know I messed up. I know I’m a hypocrite, and a liar, and bad for Thomas but god Virgil, I am trying. I am trying so hard to be better, to get better for Thomas and for all of you. I have been taught to follow one thing all this time and I can’t seem to stop messing up and I know, I know that I have fucked up, that I am a fuck up and that I absolutely deserve every bad thing you want to scream at me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry anyway,” Patton raised a hand as Virgil went to interject, “I’m sorry, but I can’t apologise. Because the same values inside me that wanted to give Remus and Janus a chance, a seat at the table, were exactly the same fragments that wanted to see past your stormy, villainous persona and see the light within-”

Virgil burst out “how could you even remotely compare the two! It’s not the same at all!” The very suggestion left him seeing red.

Patton gave a wild, sad laugh, tugging at his curls a little, “of course it is! I can’t say I know all your history, and I’m sorry that I didn’t discuss it with you first or double check. I know I should have. But I cannot apologise for doing the same thing I did years ago with a so called dark side, which lead to me getting my best friend and the chance to make some of the best memories I have with a family that hadn’t been this whole in years. Sue me, kiddo. Suddenly I didn’t want to belong to a divided whole anymore, I wanted to be together again. And Janus and Remus? What I’ve found with them, what I hope we can all find with them? I can’t apologise for giving them a chance Virgil, I just can’t.”

The silence once more stretched between them, both sides refusing to break eye contact as their chests both heaved. Virgil broke first, moving calmly to pour himself his cup of coffee. He put it down with a little more force then necessary, before throwing himself into the chair and fixing Patton with a firm stare again.

“You should have talked to me.”

“I know. I regret that I didn’t, and I’m sorry I didn’t, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to regret the outcome.”

Virgil paused, blowing lightly on the coffee, watching the steam drift. “His eyes flicked back to Patton. 

“Even if it means you won’t ever get me and Roman back?”

Patton’s face fell and his eyes looked suspiciously bright. He swallowed and croaked out, “I’m hoping for a future where I don’t have to make that choice. Would it be so impossible to wish for that?”

Another impenetrable silence stretched. Virgil could feel Patton’s hopeful eyes on him, but he did nothing except take a sip of his coffee. Eventually he sighed and put down his mug.

“Maybe not.”

Patton brightened, just a little, though he looked wary, like he wasn’t sure what he would be attacked with next. Virgil felt a little guilty about that.

“Really?”

Virgil let out a deep sigh, before standing up and walking over to Patton. “It would take some time. I can’t promise to be fine with Remus and especially Janus. And I still have no idea what Roman will think about any of this. But I suppose I could try, if you also promise to try and better regulate your emotions and include more of us in the big decisions from now on.”

Patton was nodding, wide eyed, and he also quickly rose so he was looking Virgil in the eye. He had always been just a little bit taller, but he shrunk in on himself even now in an attempt not to make it obvious.

“I don’t expect a miracle Virgil. I just want you to give them a chance, maybe have a conversation with them. I understand it may take some time, hell it may never even get right. I can only ask you to try. I’ll try for my part too.”

Virgil studied him for a moment longer, before nodding, the acceptance causing Patton to start crying for real. He opened his arms, a little warily, but a lot hopefully, and Virgil wouldn’t have been able to deny him anything in that moment.

He sank into the hug, feeling the comforting weight he hadn’t even known he had missed setting around his shoulders and holding him close. Neither wanted to let go first, holding each other like a lifeline that they had been so close to losing. Finally, when Virgil pulled away, Patton took the time to give a hiccuping laugh and wipe his tears away. Virgil surreptitiously did the same. And this time, when Patton gestured to the cupcakes he had stressed baked, Virgil graciously acquiesced. 

After all, excellent cooking was just one of the many, many things that he’d missed about his best friend.

And later that night, if he had the best sleep he had in forever, it was nobody’s business but his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave kudos or comments, any interaction will make my day!


	5. Two Brave Knocks

The knock at the door hardly came as a surprise, yet he considered ignoring it anyway. He wasn’t as stupid as the others liked to believe after all. He had observed the way the tide had changed in the Mindscape, life and laughter once again beginning to leak into the walls. Logan shooting Patton a smile of thanks when passed his notes. Janus beginning to curl up with a heat pack in the living room. Remus’ experiments invading more and more of the Imagination, trampling over what had been strictly his domain for so long. And this morning, Virgil coming in looking more rested than he had in months, even as guilt made his head duck low.

No, Roman wasn’t stupid. 

But maybe he wanted the chance to prove that he also wasn’t quite as stubborn as the others loved to believe either, because at the sound of a second knock and against his better judgement, he called out, “come in.”

The door tentatively opened, and Patton’s face peered into view. Roman took a second to really look at his friend. It had been some months since he had, after all. He’d refused to be in the same room as the other side, the hurt and betrayal making him unable to look at him. A colder, harsher rage had settled under his breastbone since then, and it kept him away for different reasons.

Patton looked… tired, more than anything. His usually cheery demeanour had finally cracked, and the rancid truth had come spilling out. He wasn’t infallible, he didn’t always know best, he wasn’t always happy and peaceful and loving. He was imperfect as the rest of them.

The thought wasn’t quite as comforting as it should be.

Patton was twisting his fingers nervously, gnawing on his bottom lip. Roman idly spared a thought to wonder just how long he had stayed awake this morning, rehearsing and calculating and dreaming up things to say. Whilst he had little respect for the side in front of him, the prince could at least acknowledge the courage that knocking on his door would have taken. Courage you’ve never had, a voice hissed at him. He grit his teeth, and nodded at Patton, kicking a chair to roll over to him. 

Patton gingerly sat down, looking as if he were about to speak. Roman got their first.

“What do you want, Patton?” he asked, bluntly, not exactly feeling like taking the time to draw this one out for dramatic effect. He didn’t miss the fact that Patton had noticed the lack of a nickname. He also didn’t miss the way he clearly tried to push past it.

“I want to make things right between us,” Patton shrugged. Good. He wasn’t beating around the bush either. 

Roman still shook his head a little, a cruel smile springing to his lips. If it was a villain they wanted, after all “seems to me like things are more right than they’ve ever been for you, Patton.”

A flicker of confusion crossed Patton’s face and he began, “I don’t know what you mean, I-”

Roman didn’t give him the chance.

“Well sure you do! I mean hasn’t it all worked out for you? Logan’s forgiven you, is even starting to take you a little more seriously too, including you in discussions and decisions and not exactly looking down on you anymore, is he? After all you’ve got Janus as a bit of a guard dog now, and he does half of the work for you, doesn’t he, takes off that responsibility you never even wanted. And yeah, things were tense with Virgil for a bit, but you’ve even managed to sort that out now, so isn’t that just sunshine and rainbows and good things. And you’ve got a new creativity, one less fragile and emotional and stupid than the last one,” Roman was spitting out the words now, his voice hard, but still monotone, because showing the turmoil of emotions he was currently wrestling with was the last thing he wanted to do, “so it seems to me, Patton, that things are actually quite worked out for you. You’ve got your friends and kids all sorted and in a line.”

Pain was written clearly in the lines of Patton’s face, “You can’t mean that.”

“Oh, but I do. The only reason you’re here is because you just cannot help yourself, can you? You want your perfect little family, but you can’t have that if I’m skulking around all upset in the corners. Well don’t bother,” he said, standing up.

But Patton stood as well, refusing to back down quite so easily. “What do you mean, don’t bother?”

Roman snorted, “You know, I really thought for years that you had to be playing up the dumbness for comedic purposes. But after a comment like that…” He let himself trail off, taking a vicious sort of pleasure in the real hurt that flashed in his eyes for a moment. Rolling his eyes, he continued, “Don’t bother. A two-word phrase telling you to knock it off, to go home, to not pass go or collect 200. To leave me alone. If you’re confused why don’t you ask Logan to make you a flashcard.”

“Leave Logan out of it,” Patton’s voice came out like granite, and a slow smirk spread onto Roman’s face. He took a taunting step forward. Verbal fights weren’t so different to swordplay, after all. It was just about staying one step ahead of your opponent and finding their weak spots.

“Touchy, touchy about specs, aren’t you Patton?”

And for a moment, Patton looked so incredibly weary that Roman wanted to reach out to him. How many times had he scolded Roman for the way he spoke against Logan? And how many times had he comforted Roman after something Logan had said had hit a little too close to home?

Pity Patton hadn’t come to comfort him that day.

He could see Patton further gearing himself up to speak, so he cut him off once more, stepping forward again.

“But to resume to the point, I said don’t bother because I am no longer your problem. Congratulations. I’m ducking out. You can tell Deceit he won.”

Roman didn’t think he had ever seen the colour drain from Patton’s face so fast, including the time Thomas had killed a spider just for hundreds of baby spiders to come pouring out of the body. Roman hadn’t noticed, but they had apparently ended up closer than he thought, because Patton instantly reached out to grab his arm, real panic taking over.

“You can’t,” and Patton looked and sounded a little wild, and a lot desperate. Roman just shook him off.

“Thomas doesn’t need me anymore, Patton,” he said simply, “I’m doing more harm than good.” He went to push past him again.

“Roman Sanders if you do not sit down and listen to me for once in your god damned life!” Patton shouted, and Roman felt himself go stock-still, eyes a little wide. He had never heard Patton yell like that.

Well, if he was already this upset, maybe convincing him it was for the best wouldn’t be quite so hard as he thought. He sat down again. 

Patton was breathing heavily, real anger radiating from him, and he got right up in Roman’s space. But when Roman looked just a little closer, he noticed his eyes were suspiciously bright.

“You cannot just say stuff like that Roman, you can’t mean it.”

“Why not? I’ve messed everything else up, so why shouldn’t I? Wouldn’t it be better for Thomas that way?”

“No.”

The conviction made him pause, and Patton took the opportunity to keep talking.

“Thomas needs you Roman- no, let me finish,” he said as Roman went to interrupt, his mouth a harsh line. He waited and finally, Roman nodded.

“Thomas needs you because there is no Thomas without you. You are his passion, his creativity, his love of all things good. You are what inspired him to be an actor, but continuously push him to pursue that dream. You’re his pride sure, but also his inspiration, and the world would be a much duller, less wonderful place if you weren’t at the helm of this particular enterprise. Thomas needs you so much, so freaking much, but more than that, the rest of us need you too.”

Roman again tried to interrupt, but Patton had gained all the traction and speed of a runaway train, and he had no choice but to lay back on the tracks and let his words pass over him. 

“Logan needs you to infuse some humour and fun into life, to stop it from getting caught in the ruts of monotony by stirring the pot a little! He loves your debates, he truly does, and would miss the bright sound you bring to this place. Janus would miss someone with whom he could debate the finer points of theatre, someone who shares his flair for the dramatics. Remus needs you like the moon needs the sun, the opposite light source to even the world out. Virgil needs and loves you so much, he would just be destroyed if you left, you make him so incredibly happy,” and Patton was sobbing now, big, ugly gulps and he finished with a shuddering breath, “And I need you, Roman. I need you so much, I can’t even describe it.”

Roman had started crying at some stage, and all at once it became too much.

“But I’m the villain now, Patton! I’ve become this cruel, twisted version of myself and sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror anymore for fear of what exactly I’ll see reflected back at me. And it’s your fault!”

Patton didn’t deny this, curling a little in on himself. But Roman, openly weeping now was too caught up to notice, and continued like he’d interrupted anyway.

“It is! You’re the one that told us the dark sides were bad news, you’re the one who told us to keep away. You’re the one who decided who made the cut! But suddenly I couldn’t be mean to Virgil anymore because he’s your precious baby, and fine, I can accept that, he has been helpful before. So, I try to be more open, think a little open-mindedly when Deceit comes knocking, but I’m told firmly and irrevocably that I’m wrong for doing so, not once but twice! And yeah, that stings, that hurts, but not quite as much as when I’m told that after knocking me out, trying to kill me and hurt Thomas, you just let my dear and darling brother waltz through the mindscape! And that we are meant to accept him now? But what’s worse, what’s worse? I listen to you at every turn, I yield to your judgments, I turn down my literal dreams for you! And you give up? You let Deceit, who I was so in trouble for listening too, talk you down and he wins! And I’m somehow blamed again for lashing out?”

Roman had tried for calm even through his tears, tried to be rational cause god forbid he show any real emotions, but the damn had burst, and he found himself shouting, “I trusted you for years Patton, and you were wrong! About everything!” He made himself look at the other side and wasn’t surprised to see the way he had folded in on himself a little, hugging his arms to his side like that would protect him. He was breathing quickly, focusing on his hands- wait, were they turning green?

Roman took a quick step back, but Patton just took another deep breath, and his colour returned to normal. He raised a tear-soaked face to meet Roman’s eyes and shook his head a little.

“Not about everything,” he said, his voice coming out a little hoarse if still flat.

“What?” Roman asked incredulously. Patton just sniffed, swiping at his eyes, and said it again, “Not about everything.”

Roman scoffed. “Oh yeah? Name one thing.”

“Wasn’t wrong about the good in you. I’m just glad my mistakes didn’t fuck that up, at least.”

Roman thought distantly that punches to the chest had hurt less than that.

Patton continued, still angrily rubbing at his eyes like he was annoyed at himself for crying, “I know I’ve fucked up, more times than either of us can count. I was stuck in an outdated model, a childish outlook of the world, and I’m trying, I’m trying so damn hard to change that. I’m learning Roman, and I’m trying, and I probably will make mistakes again. I’ll never stop that. But I also know that I’ll never stop having my definition of all that is good and heroic being defined by you. When I make my decisions, when I try my best, try so desperately for Thomas to be good, it is you I’m looking too, because that’s what you’ve always represented to me.”

Roman couldn’t have spoken then even if you told him Meryl Streep had popped in for a chat. But Patton had seemingly exhausted himself, slumping over a little.

Silence descended for a moment, broken only by hitched breathing and tears being wiped. Finally, Roman found his voice again.

“I thought you said Logan was your hero?”

Patton just shook his head a little, a half-smile creeping onto his face.

“Oh, he is. He’s everything I’m not, the other half of my coin. He’s intelligent and clever, and controlled and right. He’s my hero in the way the stars are a muse; bright and distant. But you, you’re a little more like me. You laugh at my jokes, and include me in things, and you’ve always been the first to defend me. You’re my hero like a knight to a villager; all worship and unpayable debt that I will never tire of trying to repay.” He sighed, adding on “of course, my repayments mean nothing seeing as they’ve done more harm than good.”

There was silence for a little longer.

“Not so unattainable, I think.”

Patton looked a little startled, “What, Logan?”

Roman nodded. “Not these days, anyway.”

But Patton was firmly shaking his head. “I’ve got too much penance owed, Roman, and it isn’t all to you. I shied away from telling anything but the truth, but I’m the biggest liar of you all. Forgiveness, let alone anything more, should be unattainable with all of you, but hey. I’ve always been the worst of us.”

“Maybe I should continue to prove you right then, Padre.”

Patton’s head whipped up.

“After all, if you really think I’m the epitome of good, maybe it’s time I proved it, huh? I mean, the others forgave you, right?”

Patton was smiling sadly at him. “You don’t have to ever forgive me Roman. You don’t have to trust me or be my friend or anything like that. I just want you to give the others a chance again. Don’t cut yourself off from the group because of me, when you’re the one who should be there instead.”

Roman paused for a second and let himself imagine. Debating with Logan. Movie nights with Virgil that didn’t have an undercurrent of bitterness. Costume parties with Janus. Even spending some time in the imagination with his brother, like they had once.

He missed his family.

“How can I? I can’t have both.”

Patton looked at him steadily. “If you asked, I would leave. You’re right, I’m terrible at my job. I’ve consistently hurt Thomas. I shouldn’t get to stay while you suffer alone. You just have to say the word and I’ll leave.”

Roman’s throat closed up a little, “I just have to ask you to do that and you’ll do it?”

“You can ask me anything Roman. You know that.”

Roman took a deep breath, and another one, before looking Patton straight in the eye. He didn’t miss the way the other side tensed, like waiting for a physical blow.

“Then I ask you to stay.”

“What?”

It was the true shock in Patton’s voice that broke him.

“I’ve missed you so much Patton. I could never imagine a family without you in it, even for these past months. What could I ever do without the softest little puffball we got?”

Patton was crying again, but that was okay because he was crying too, and god he had missed Patton and the others so much and when Patton opened up his arms, it was the easiest thing in the world to fall into them, wrapping him up in a bear hug. God, he had missed him, he had missed him, he had missed him.

He pulled back for a moment. “We aren’t fine. Things aren’t right and dandy, okay? I still don’t completely trust you or forgive you, but god, I want too. Is that enough?”

Patton just rested their foreheads together.

“Roman, I’ve always been okay for anything you’re willing to give me. The fact you’re willing to give me a second chance, after all of this? It’s everything.”

And really, what choice did Roman have in the face of such devotion but to wrap Patton firmly into another tight hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely cried writing this. I would love any feedback, thank you all so much for reading and supporting this little story so far! We have only one chapter left, and are hopefully through the worst of the angst now! Time for a little more comfort, I think


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